Between the Emergency Room and the Living Room: A Mother’s Dilemma

Anna Bernad • September 5, 2025
Between the Emergency Room and the Living Room: A Mother’s Dilemma

At least once a week, before the sun rises, I quietly leave home. My children, only 2 and 5 years old, are often sitting on the sofa, their sleepy eyes following me as I put on my coat. They already know. They know that when I leave like this, with my heavy bag and determined face, I might not come back until the next day. They call it “the long one” — the 24-hour shift.


This is the reality of being both a mother and an emergency doctor. Two roles that I love deeply, but that often collide in painful ways.


The Joy and the Cost of Saving Lives

I chose medicine because I wanted to help, to make people healthier, to save lives in the moments when it matters most. When I am in the emergency room, I feel alive, purposeful, and proud of the work I do. But behind this satisfaction, there is also a cost — a cost paid not only by me but also by my family.


Each long shift means a day and a night away from my children. It means missing bedtime stories, hugs, and the simple presence that small children need so much. It also means my children growing up with the feeling that “Mum is gone again,” sometimes with tears, sometimes with silence.


The Silent Guilt of Parenthood

There is a guilt that many working parents carry, but in emergency medicine, it feels especially heavy. On one hand, I know I am fulfilling an obligation, doing meaningful work, and contributing to society. On the other, I cannot escape the voice inside that whispers: Am I neglecting my children? Will they remember me as the mother who was always leaving?


I wonder if this is a flaw in the system. Could we organize healthcare in a way that allows doctors with small children to work differently, without compromising the quality of care or their financial stability? Or is this simply the unavoidable reality of professions that demand full dedication at any hour of the day or night?


Not Only Mothers — Parents Everywhere

Although I speak from my perspective as a mother, I know fathers feel this too. Many parents — in healthcare, in aviation, in the military, in transportation — share the same heartache: the pull between professional duty and family presence. It is not only about gender, but about parenthood and the deep human need to be there for our children as they grow.


When I kiss my children goodbye on those early mornings, I carry both worlds inside me: the one where I save lives and the one where two little lives are waiting for me at home. Perhaps the greatest challenge of parenthood is learning how to live fully in both.


• Do you live this balance between work and family?

• How do you cope with the guilt of being away?

• Have you found strategies that help your children feel safe and loved, even in your absence?

Doctor, Mummy, and Everything in Between

By Anna Bernad • August 3, 2025
Being a mother of two little girls is the most beautiful, chaotic, grounding experience of my life. And somehow, it’s also the perfect balance (or imbalance!) to the other part of me — the doctor who spends mornings in the biggest emergency department in the Costa del Sol, treating everything from chest pains to knee pain. My days start early. Hospital shoes on. White coat ready. Head in emergency mode. It’s fast, it’s intense, it’s full of adrenaline — and yes, sometimes full of heartache. But it’s also where I’ve learned what resilience, quick decisions, and deep compassion really mean. Then comes the second shift: my private consultations. Calm, more personal. A space where I can take my time, listen to patients in their own language — English, Polish, Spanish — and truly connect. Many are tourists, others are local expats, some are new mums with the same tired eyes I see in my mirror. And then… comes the real marathon. The school pickups. The dance class bags forgotten. Dinner negotiations. Storytime snuggles (that sometimes end with me asleep before them). This is the part no one sees — but the part that defines me the most. 💬 “You can’t do it all,” they say. I smile — because every mum knows: we do it anyway. This blog is for every working mum who’s been told she’s “too ambitious,” “too emotional,” or “too tired.” Yes, we are all those things. And we’re doing it anyway. I want to share with you not just medical advice, but the behind-the-scenes of being a doctor and a mum. Because it’s not always pretty, but it’s always real. 🌿 From Me to You Whether you're a patient, a fellow parent, or someone balancing your own version of chaos — I see you. And I’m glad you’re here.